| Atom
bomb: |
An
invention to end all inventions. |
| Cigarette: |
A
pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and
a fool on the other. |
| Classic: |
A
book which people praise but do not read. |
| Committee: |
Individuals
who can do nothing individuallt and sit to decide that nothing
can be done together. |
| Compromise: |
The
art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes
he got the biggest piece. |
| Conference: |
The
confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. |
| Conference
room: |
A
place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody
disagrees later on. |
| Criminal: |
A
guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught. |
| Dictionary: |
A
place where success comes before work. |
| Diplomat: |
A
person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you
actually look forward to the trip. |
| Divorce: |
Future
tense of marriage. |
| Etc.: |
A
sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually
do. |
| Experience: |
The
name men give to their mistakes. |
| Father: |
A
banker provided by nature. |
| Lecture: |
An
art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer
to the notes of the students without passing trough the minds
of either. |
| Miser: |
A
person who lives poor so that he can die rich. |
| Office: |
A
place where you can relax after your strenous home life. |
| Opportunist: |
A
person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into
a river. |
| Optimist: |
A
person who, while falling from the Eiffel Tower, says midway,
"See I am not injured yet." |
| Philosopher: |
A
fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when
dead. |
| Smile: |
A
curve that can set a lot of things straight. |
| Tears: |
The
hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated
by feminine water power. |
| Yawn: |
The
only time some married men ever get to open their mouth. |
